theyreoutofcontrol:

Interviewer: “so where do you see yourself in five years?”
Me: “I’m shaking hands with Dumbledore I’ve won the house cup”

(via joffreymodick)

139,469 notes

alwaysactually:

lusilly:

some muggleborn like “i want to be an astronaut when i grow up!”

wizard kids like “wtf is an astronaut”

"oh you know…the people who go to the moon"

(via ceramichouse)

104,829 notes

charminglyantiquated:

a little love story about mermaids and tattoos

(via leonardplummccoy)

127,368 notes

(Source: thesoofie, via joffreymodick)

139,584 notes

(Source: danyhaim, via joffreymodick)

2,259 notes

"fraternal loyalty doesn’t extend to stupidity, bud"

(Source: mickymilkovich, via otahee3)

2,092 notes

(Source: orangeis, via joffreymodick)

321,777 notes

WiFi: connected
Me: then fucking act like it
264,529 notes

blastortoise:

Why would you intentionally eat olives like what in the fuck? are you okay? is someone forcing you to do this? You need me to call the police let me know so we can help you

(via joffreymodick)

48,282 notes

amortizing:

2014 is half over and

  • -i lost no weight
  • -didn’t learn anything
  • -haven’t made an effort to save money
  • -still ugly

(via joffreymodick)

120,123 notes